Crazy Goals

Meet me new running shoes.

Yes, I did just say running, as in Heather is running.

This former running-hater has insanely committed to run.....

......a marathon.  

40 has officially gone to my head.  It wasn't even my idea to begin with (I blame that part on Shane) but I was, however, the one to push us over the edge of common sense.  On the night when Shane was waffling with whether to sign up for a half or full marathon, I said: "Let's just do the full marathon.  When am I ever again going to be this close to thinking about something this crazy?  Certainly not when I am any older than right now!"  And so.....we signed up.

And I commenced freaking out after that first week of running.  What in the world did I agree to, no ENCOURAGE us to do????  I found myself somewhere between scared silly and emboldened.  And I still am not sure where to land most days.  

SO for right now I am trying to stay in today, after all that IS usually what I do well.  I am the "live in the moment" girl who really doesn't think much about tomorrow or the next hour.  Week 13 when I run 10 miles and week 26 when I run TWENTY-SIX.  MILES....it's way out there still and looking at that is when I land on scared silly.  But this week my goal is 2.5 miles...and that is all I am choosing to think about.  After all, 4 weeks ago a couple minutes made me winded and tired.  

I still am not really sure why I made this plunge.  It was definitely out of character.  I can blame it on 40 or I can choose to think this might be something bigger for me than exercise and miles conquered.  

I don't really know yet but I'm keeping my head up and eyes and ears open.

One thing is for sure.  If I can begin to wake up at 6:15AM on a regular basis, ANYTHING is possible.   Right now it is the HARDEST thing about training and it's hard to foresee that changing at all.

Berlin Revisited

Skipping around a little here...there are some more pictures from Berlin I want to include here and caption so I won't forget this experience.  As it is, the pictures are limited and this is just a taste of those 5 days but I want to document what I have at least.

Closest to Italy I've ever been and I could tell.  This little Cucina Italiana was truly authentic and my tastebuds knew it!!  Wish I took a picture of my meal but I think it would make me salivate like crazy right now.  Pasta was homemade, marinara was perfect and simple and wine was oh. so. good.  Yep, the tastes of Europe...good stuff!  It was a cozy spot with real from-Italy Italians serving and cooking.  Definitely a favorite find!

This was also our first dinner in Berlin and the only one we had alone so it was sweet time despite our jetlag.

This fun bunch of people are the ones we spent most of our time with.  A mix of ReachNational folks that Shane serves alongside, US and global pastors and a couple of the missionaries that are currently living in Berlin a.k.a. our walking history books and windows to real-life Berlin.  Yep, we had a lot of fun together.

Jeff and Michelle.  Jeff is on the Reach National team with Shane as the Director of Church Planting. Michelle is his wife who I really enjoyed getting to know.  They live in Duluth, MN so they are not local to us and this is the first time I had ever met either of them...had to get to Europe to meet them apparently.  We had a great time exploring the city, hanging out and having great conversations with these two over lots of meals shared.  I so appreciated Michelle's compassionate heart and effervescent personality!

"Kristina".  I don't remember her German pronunciation and she said to just call her that as most Americans do.  She was a last-minute fill-in for a history of the church in Berlin.  How very insightful and rare to hear the history of Germany from the mouth and perspective of a true German.  She was honest and funny and captivating.  Her words and the heart that shone through spoke of the power of God's redemptive plan that does not exclude Berlin.  It is a tolerant and secular city but God has not abandoned its people.  She is an active prayer warrior for Berlin and for Germany and she is not alone. I remember walking away feeling so thankful to have heard her unique and honest perspective of her country's history and hope anew that God IS NOT DEAD.

Reichstag Building.  We missed out on the tour of this which I know would have been so cool.

Brandenburg lit up at dusk.

Berlin Cathedral Church.  Largest Church in Berlin.  It is beautiful on the outside.  We didn't go in for the tour.  Hard thing about these beautuful old buildings is knowing the lifelessness within.

Museum.  I forget which one.

Pergamom Museum.  The one museum we did enter.  This was the most magnificent part of it -
King Nebuchadnezzar 's Ishtar Gate of Babylon.  This is the gate that the Israelite captives would have walked through.  It was AMAZING!

Fun night in Potsdamer Platz.  Wish I had more people shots!  These were all taken with Shane's phone because I am lousy at taking pictures when I am in the moment.

Another yummy Italian dinner...Could not get enough!!

German fare night meant good local dark beer.

A missionary couple in Berlin.  They recently opened a music cafe in the neighborhood they live in. They are teaming with others to create a gospel initiative in their community,  that their lives may intersect with others in need of Jesus' saving light and love.  Inspiring to us.  They have poured so much time, energy and prayer and are offering it to God for His kingdom's sake.

Berlin selfies.  

So very grateful for this man.  Thankful for the adventures God takes us on and for the privilege of traveling to Berlin together to give our minds and hearts a bigger picture of the world and of God who IS at work always, everywhere.

Our Small Group

Spent part of Easter Sunday with these crazy fun folks...

In September of 2013 we jumped into something we have been looking for ever since moving to Minneapolis almost 6 years ago...a small, local group of people to live and learn with.  Summer 2013 we prayed and asked God to show us what people we could invite to join us on a journey of learning to follow Jesus more closely.  We called it a Disciplemaking Learning Community because really that is what we are aiming to be about together.  The name doesn't matter all that much except that it gives us purpose.  We've been coming together twice a month on Sundays, sharing a meal and then discussing/wrestling over the truth we read in God's Word and seeking to apply it to our lives in real and practical ways.  We're getting to know one another so we can pray for, encourage and be truth-speakers in each other's lives.  It's a beautiful, imperfect work in progress and on Easter Sunday we just had a whole lot of fun celebrating our Risen King together.

There are a handful of littles, our kids being the oldest.  It's such a great opportunity for them to love on ones younger than themselves and serve in ways that leaves room for Jesus to shape their hearts to love like He does.  It's been a pleasure for me to watch them play with, laugh with, hug and care for the smaller people that walk through our door.

I'm just really thankful that God answered our prayers for a local community of believers to grow with and we are continuing to pray that God will keep our hearts soft to His ways and His heart.  Our prayer is that we won't turn inward and stay nice and comfy in our little group but that God will stretch our hearts and make room for those in each of our lives that He has already placed there for His purposes. Those people that need the hope and light of Jesus and who need to see it in us.  Personally I know that requires an unselfishness and compassion that I will not manufacture on my own by any measure.  I'm praying for God's transforming work to be the change factor for me and for this special group of people we have come to love.

Gram

Easter Sunday was also Gram's birthday.

I just find that so appropriate and I was thinking of her so much especially in the morning when I remembered it was April 20 - her birthday.  Mom reminded me she would have been 95 years old if she was still here with us.  Instead she is ahead of us already celebrating eternity with her King.

She will always be present in my heart.  Grateful for her life every day.

Looking back on something I wrote the month she went to heaven.

Brandenburg Gate and Berlin Wall

That first day in Berlin, it was just the two of us exploring the old/new, history-filled, city.  I remember this surreal feeling that I wasn't really on the eastern side of the Atlantic, far from home, in a foreign city. Though German is written everywhere there is also a lot of English.  If you tuned out the German, the architecture didn't feel foreign either.  I saw clearly the inspiration for much of the old buildings and churches in Northeast US cities.  I think that was partly why I didn't feel like a foreigner, though I knew in my mind that I was.  It was an interesting feeling...familiar yet foreign.

The Brandenburg Gate is well known and we frequently found ourselves in that area as it was walkable from our hotel in western Berlin and near many other places we visited. Also, it was just a fun place to be.  It is truly magnificent, especially to think how long it has been standing and the historical significance it holds for Berlin.  So grateful for the unseasonable sunshiny days we had during our entire visit.

Not far from here stands the remnants of the wall that divided Berlin for 28 years.  All throughout the city there is a line of bricks in the ground that follows the footprint of the entire wall as it stood.  It seems everywhere there are visual reminders of the past that Germany does not want to forget. Remembering so as not to repeat.  Seeing the remant and imagining this cold barrier throughout the entire city made things that I've read of Germany's history seem so much more real.  This was a reality so many people lived with of families, friends and a country divided.  It felt ominous and isolating and so cold.  I remember sitting on the cement sidewalk in the sunlight, looking for some extra warmth and feeling sadness for those who had to live on the eastern side of that wall (which was the side I happened to be on at the time).  Images from a tv screen in the 80s held a little more significance as I literally sat on the ground that East Berliners had walked, the same ground that had been locked away from the world.  I felt the sun bring warmth to my body in contrast to the cold cement and felt more grateful for it.

Even now as I see again the pictures of this wall it makes me think of how unnatural division is, that we were meant for unity.  Unity in relationships, with God and with man.  It makes me think of the ways my heart can be divided when I allow my affection and worship to be placed upon something other than the One I was made for.  It's NOT natural and it brings isolation, fear and a coldness.

This wall was torn down to the sound of much celebration and in time a city was united. Unfortunately, Berliners bear the scars of their history and have yet to turn to the True Source for healing and restoration.  To that end we pray for these people and this city.

This wall is a reminder to me though.  A literal picture of what walls look like and what they create. My heart was not meant to be sectioned off in little pieces or in any way at all.  My entire being was intended to be open and free to receive the presence of the One who created me.  Where sin erected a barrier,  Jesus came to tear it down that I might walk in freedom.

He demolished what we could not on our own and He did it for the whole world.  He obliterated the power of sin, that ugly dividing wall, for Berliners, for Africans, for Middle Easterners and for Americans...for you and me...for everyone who believes in Him and banks their life on that wonderful truth.

"We are made right with God by placing our faith in Jesus Christ.  And this is true for everyone who believes, no matter who we are".  Romans 3:22

"So just as sin ruled over all people and brought them to death, now God's wonderful grace rules instead, giving us right standing with God and resulting in etneral life through Jesus Christ our Lord." Romans 5:21

Last month I was in Europe!

I keep reminding myself of this fact:  Last month I was in EUROPE!!

It really doesn't seem real and even in the moment it was hard to wrap my brain around.  But yes indeed it did happen. The really fun part is that it was a surprise up until 2 weeks prior to leaving and my detail-happy, completely wonderful husband made all the stars align to pull off our out-of-this-country adventure.

Here is my 10-clue game we played at dinner one night.  The best part was the kids barely containing their excitement while it took me until clue "22 G & F" to figure out what Shane was trying to tell me.

Fargo came to our rescue once again in the shape of three precious family-friends that teamed up for "Operation Stacey-Kids Camp".  Bonus was that the kids had just as much a blast as we did and they didn't even have to get on a plane.  We are SOOO grateful for friends who jump on board a last-minute plan just to bless us!

Had a little more time to pack this carry-on than I did for my surprise girl's weekend.  I was most excited to pack my new birthday TOMS from my mom.

Planes are nothing new to us.  Flying across the Atlantic Ocean has only happened a couple other times though and never before have we landed in Berlin, Germany!  This night  day we did just that!

We tried to get some sleep on the plane and I maybe slept a few hours.  We landed in Berlin at 9AM so we had a whole day ahead of us quite jet-lagged so we took public transport and walked A LOT.  We had our first chance to see the Brandenburg gate and the Memorial to the Murdered Jews, which we would walk by many times in the next 5 days.

This Memorial, called the "Field of Stelae" was such an overwhelming site that is hard to put into words.  From these pictures you can't see the slope of the ground take you deeper, farther down, into what becomes very tall pillars of these rectangular blocks.  The effect is a recognition first that these "blocks" represent coffins and the magnitude is large enough just at this initial angle.  Then as you walk forward down any pathway you find yourself completely immersed in what seems an endless amount of shadowed, sky high, columns of rectanglar concrete.  There is no explanation or interpretation offered by the American architect of this memorial as the intent is for each person to experience for themselves the thoughts and emotions it evokes for them.  For me it felt endless, overwhelming, ominous and like a great sad burden...the farther I walked down to the lowest portion of a path and then walked back up.  Even walking back into the light, the feeling remained.  Underneath the ground you see here is an information center about the holocaust.  Informative is not the right word for it.  As a museum it is really well-done.  Hard to say that about a museum that creates an experience you both shrink back from yet do not want to be ignorant of.  There is a sign when you first enter the museum portion that I wish I took a picture of.  It reads something to the effect, "We do not want to forget so this may never happen again."  I wish we were not as jet-lagged as we were that day because I know that prevented me from focusing in as well as I wanted to but it was so very sobering nonetheless.

That was one of our first experiences in Berlin.  Hard to swallow the hard, awful history of this city and country but it gave perspective to where Berlin is today and all we would learn of its history.  I think honestly it's good for my soul to get a real, hard look at where sin can take a person and a community of people.   It's real and grotesque and without Jesus, the whole world would have NO hope of ever being free from the grip it has on us.  The cross and the awful, complete payment Jesus made, His sacrificial death and glorious resurrection...this is such GREAT NEWS.  He came to free us from the atrocities our sinful selves are capable of...and the reality that sin is SIN period.  We ALL have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.  We ALL need a Rescuer and Jesus came to seek and to save those who are lost in their sin.  One very real feeling I had walking away from this memorial was gratefulness for the hope I have in Jesus.

Remembering is helpful but only Jesus saves.

Party Pictures

Found some more pictures my friend Kait was kind enough to take.

I remember every where I turned I saw the thought and detail Shane put into making this party fun and festive.  I want to remember how it all looked because it was so well done and made me feel really loved!

Really tasty snacks compliments of some sweet friends that helped Shane out.  I wish I ate more but I was so distracted by all the people. : )

Not the greatest picture but my reaction was the more silent, "Are you serious? OH. MY. GOODNESS." Felt that inside and then I flipped out with excitement which is probably what was really more to character.

Love the ecstatic blurry profile of Gavin.

So glad my kids got in on the festivity for a bit since they worked so hard with Shane getting ready for this fun night!!

Many faces are not preserved in photo but I will definitely remember each one's presence.  

A few to help me remember...

And the guy who made it all happen...how I love him!!!